siuwin 的个人资料siuwin照片日志列表更多 工具 帮助
9月29日

走火入魔

最近发现自己越来越走火入魔了........TMD 怎么办啊
还有就是发现 ann 说得很对啊. 活得太憋屈了. 想去大街上大喊一痛.....要不就想找个人狂爆打一顿.
天亮了,我还幸运的活着. 其实也挺好.
 
还说别人钻牛角尖,TMD自己也还不是一样. 怎么劝 hermia那功力用不到自己身上..........
 
不爽不爽,极其不爽~!
 
在极其不爽的状态下打resident evil.一下就过了3关~~~ 打boss都不带掉血的............lol
还是Wii过瘾
最近太乱了,要重整一下.
 
9月28日

标题就是这段文字的第一个字连起来.......

不需要去理解,也没有意义了.不需要说明任何事.因为一切都变成了恨,这就足够了.
留下的只有失望和伤心...........真没想到我还是如次的天真,傻逼.
情感还是放开了要好很多.
面子估计以后要不要也无所谓了.谁让自己这么SB.
 
 
我们本来就是陌路人,何必再去寻找共同点.
真说明白也肯定白费,何必一定要冥思苦想.
他人劝说加一顿教育,何必要往牛角尖里钻.
妈妈都说儿子是不对,何必挣扎夺回好名声.
的确有些事是发生了,何必曾想改变那历史.
想到这里就是很失望,何必多想浪费脑细胞.
骂人的事肯定干不了,何必费神去听别人骂.
人必须要有自知知明,何必没有还瞎乱狂叫.
 
 

最后

title就让我抄袭一下吧..............
 
有人说: 该来的总会来的,该跑的也抓不住.你变了,不再是以前的good boy了. 掉钱眼儿里了,变色狼了......你这算是P啊? 其实连P都不算.末扯,现在这么忙了~! 你Y还真有闲工夫..抵~! 没关系.你真过分~ 你怎么这样.你还有希望. 你爱过么?怎么了? 你不正常啊. 你还行不行了~! 终于知道了,理解万岁啊~! what's wrong? U ok? U sure? 你走火入魔了. 你还是不缺.......................
 
disappointed, sooooooo disappointed. lol What more can I say? 
扯蛋归扯蛋,说教归说教,建议归建议,废话归废话.
 
朋友该说的也都说了,自己该说的也都说了. 没什么再多解释的了.这就算是最后了吧.
 
The end
 
 
 
 
A new day has come.
 
9月26日

looking back (this blog is too long please do not look back, I will not be responsible for your eyes......so don't read it......lol)

When I look back at my life, I feel different every time. From the "beginning", I never doubt about myself. It was always like "I can do it~! I'll do it." Then the feeling wear off eventually. Then the time comes, I never wanted to give up. Then I gave up at the end. Always trying to struggle until the end, but it's just the process. Then I learned that there still could be peace. Now to think of it, I might miss the way I used to be, and might actually miss that piece of memory. I look back again, I feel different again. I feel that my heart is pounding, my brain couldn't even think straight, and my tongue was sticking in my mouth like I drank a bottle of glue. I couldn't talk normally. I was so nervous every single time. Then I paid for my price to be too excited. I leanred the lesson called "When people should give up." And again I'm here to look back at my life one more time. I see things that I wanted to see. Things go the way I wanted them to go. However, the only thing is that I'm running out of time. I find myself standing at the edge of a cliff, but I refused to open my eyes until I feel like falling. Then again I learned something new "Not to give up too late". Before the "beginning", I was a stupid human being who smiles everyday. Since "cash" wasn't in my list of concerns, it just came in the form of actual retail products. I could have anything I wanted, but I was acting like a fool who didn't see the value of the "cash". I remembered that I still learned something "Not to give up too early". One more time, I'm looking at the past. I only see the "future" in the past. I don't want to admit that maybe "future" could actually be a good friend. Although I have been told that "future" has no real value, there for FV (future value) would equals to zero. However, I still believe that there would have a 25% chance of getting a real good ROI (return on investment) in the "future". Mayeb I can still try to put my PV (present value) to the jack pot. It's just like waiting to see the flops for a poker game. It doesn't hurt much for just betting on the big blind, as long as that i am already the big blind. I'll only have to "check" to make sure the cards will come. To put investment in a GIC is doable, but not wise enough to do the thing. Yes~! Everyone knows that it is a 100% return, but look at the dam low interest rate. Yeah, people would still say that at least i'm not losing money on that one. OK~! FINE~! No PAIN, No GAIN~! No RISK = No Profit. That is the only truth. The project is till at the inception phase (the phase where you ask for the project requirement, analysis the need for the project, feasiability and such at the beginning of the project). If I want to go to the next phase, I have to be really careful about that. One wrong step along the way, I have to back to sqaure one and losing everything. A project plan would be really nice, but that plan is only for the weak ones, or I should say for the ones who don't like challenges. With only a due date and no plan, I would run the project with my team. OH~ SHIT did I mention that there is only one person in the team, and FUCK~! It's myself. SO who cares~! Just fuck it~! I'll do it~! Mother fuckers~! I will not wait, I will not struggle, I will not give up either too early or too late, and I will do it~!
 
 
 
Bring it~! Let's see who's your daddy~!
9月25日

Co-project manager (assistant project manager)

激动,高兴,兴奋...........这个职位的意义可以说是很重大的.
只要和project manager沾边的title那就是很有前途的(自己认为)........hehe
我的激情也上来的,刚开始连prof都还没干什么的时候我就已经开始行动了, 给一帮小RA (Research Assistants)发个NVivo的tutorial啥的.
恩恩~! 不错啊~! 感觉就是好. 终于可以manage 别人了.........hahahaha 不过这个位置也真不好做, 别人可以不做事,但是我就得一定先发制人.
再就是把QSR NVivo给弄明白了.......只能说现在特别兴奋啊~! 然后现在用base camp去做project, 什么project planning, mile stone, to-do list............好多东西要看啊.
还好我今天是去FutureShop上班的最后一天(只是week day的最后一天, 我weekend还继续做).
 
忙啊~! 兴奋啊~!
 
Co-project Manager 我来了~! TMD激动人心了~! 这种活就算是不给钱,我也要去干啊.更何况还是给钱的project~!.............完了,今天睡不好了...........太兴奋了...............
 
 
忙啊~!兴奋啊~!.......................hehehehehehehehehe
 
 
p.s. TMD我连作业都没写完呢,还在这里得瑟........不得瑟了......去K书写作业了.
9月22日

Quote

Quote:

"初恋并不完美,最完美的恋爱只停留于暧昧。 一对恋人的相知,相处是痛苦的开始,分手是为了结束这种痛。

 

两个人的永远不是爱情,是责任。 爱情没有永远,像夜晚的烟花,昙花一现的灿烂点缀着黑夜,短暂却惊艳,这才是爱情的美丽。 责任能让两个不再相爱的人相处一辈子,爱却激起人类最肮脏的一面,嫉妒,猜疑,自私。

想要一辈子的女人,找个爱你的男人, 不如找个负责人的男人。

想要一辈子的男人, 你是个负责的男人么?"

 

我呢...我是个不负责的人.....从来不会去自己背负一切,但是还希望自己能做点什么,总觉得自己已经背负了一切. 可结果所有的挣扎都变得没有意义. Life在和你开玩笑,开了个很大的玩笑.

往往这个时候出现的朋友,都会给我很多感动.总会有种雪中送炭的感觉.我能说的只有谢谢.因为我不陪被安慰............

 

 

困啊...........TNND

我怎么就这么SB呢?~! 记得小时候滑冰摔了一次后脑, 有一年冬天摔了一次后脑...踢足球的时候不计其数的头球......看来都是报应.
每次都觉得应该想想自己,怎么还是不完全.......太失败了.......就像每次考试都拿30/31一样,就差那么一点儿......
我怎么就这么TMD super无敌,超级牛X的SB呢?  说啥都没用,累了.....真的累了.........

很........

很失望,很无语,很无奈,很无聊,很头痛,很浪费,很SB,很扯蛋................
9月21日

.

多说什么都没有用了. 想再多也是徒劳. 人活着怎么就这么累. 累也不能不活,要活就得好好活.可哪儿有像我这样的.............没事找事,整个一受虐狂.  应该送我俩字"活该".
困得我眼睛都快睁不开了........最近每天几乎就睡4个小时,要么不睡......估计也许还能减点肥. 做事本来就没什么对错之分,只不过是怎么看问题罢了. 自己能看开就行了.只能说我看得还是不明了. 要是明了,估计我也就是诸葛亮二世了.这完全就是扯蛋的一件事. 扯吧.............就让扯蛋无止境吧~! 我应该庆幸我现在还能吃饱,还有衣服穿,还有地方睡,没得什么绝症,没被雷劈死,好在马路上的醉酒司机没把我撞死.............唉~ 既然死不了就还是要活下去,继续受着生活的各种折磨,各种刁难,经受各种挫折......so what~! until the day I fully understand the meaning of life, or maybe I'll never get it. Life is full of unexpected things......each person has a different point of view, a different perception, a different understanding, a total different experience..........I'm glad that people will understand in one day, people will change their way of seeing things, people will think differently than before, and I'm one of the people who will also change. But the changes that are coming are not known..............
9月20日

Life again, yeah....this is life~! Live with it or Deal with it~!

Mind can make people go crazy. Life is like a mind game, but the opponent is myself. I play against myself to see if i can still win.
Life is like watever, it is the BS people have to deal with, it is the thing you have to wait for, sometimes it comes back and screw you up.
Life is a one big test. Everyday decisions are being made, each one is a small problem set within this test. There really is no right or wrong answeres. However, each one of us has to choose between right and wrong. It's either this one or the other. When the time comes, life presents a series of challenging questions. Of course, there would be no cheating ever for this test. No such two people will ever have the same answer. If you cheat, then it's like choosing the no instead of yes. However, I cheated before in this test. The thing is that you never know that when you'll get your marks back, so you hope you'll get a pass on the report card. If everything would go the way you wish for, then there would be no life at all. Things will never go the way you expected them to go. Life is just about any unexpected things to happen. No one knows the future, but people still try their best to look into the future and try to estimate the results on their investments. It is been said: One door closes, another opens. Life is also about opportunities. Chances are you lose something, and in return you get some other things. Life is also about learning. Why people say it is a life-long learning? Because people learn new things everyday. Most people just don't pay any attention to the new things, but instead they try to keep the way it is with eye blind fold. Life is a boat. Once you are on board, you cannot get off. Whatever happens on the boat cannot be reversed, it has always been a one way trip. Some people decide to get off the boat early, some people are willing to stay until the end. There is no differece for both kinds of people. The only thing is that people who stayed would have suffered emotional stress for the ones left earlier. But the ones who left early must be very brave to over come their fears over death. So what's the point of talking about this stupid thing we are experiencing everyday? People really need to think about how they think, when they are thinking about the thinking process. I find myself thinking blank paged in my head, just like your internet is gone and the page says" This page can not be displayed." Although there is nothing on the page, but at least I did put in the URL address. Sometimes I know where to go, but I don't know how. People would say:" Look~! What an Idiot~! He Sucks~! He doesn't know how to get there.........." I'd really rather don't know how to get to a place than not to know my destination. Since everyone does things differently, there must be more than one method to do one thing. If someone ever says something like:" This is the only way to do it~!", then they are just too lazy to think about the alternative ways of doing the same thing. I do usually say things like that, but I'm not really concerned about the results. This time I didn't even try to stop thinking, but it just goes in circles. Keeps coming back and forth in the head, like a spiral shaped DNA with no beginning and end. The brain gives me a signal:" DNA" Do Not Ask. If I think more, then I guess I'll be dead by now. But there is no way to stop thinking........The only answer I came up with is that all things happen for a reason.
 
No one knows that how many relationships a person will have in his or her life. But at least, make each count as a meaningful one. This time I pressed the stop button, but time is still running. There is no stop button for time. If say life is a game, then time is the only HP in this game. However, not every player in the game has the same HP when they started the game. It is not fair at the beginning, but people tend to forget about this fact real fast. Then people start expect others to play fair with them. There will never be fair rules in this game so called "Life". To put it another way, there is no rules for the game. Only depends on each individual's play style. It is also like Poker, quick play, slow play......and then everyone suddenly forget about all the danger and they risk their "all in" for better return on investment. However, there can be only one winner -- who ever stays until the end. It's like there is no free lunch. You have money, you pay for it. You have no money, try to get some money. Don't ask me how, but find a way to get money. and don't forget there is no rules for the game. You name it, life has it.
 
I still remember what I said before: "Life is like whatever~! Live with it or Deal with it~!"   This is not just for myself, it is for everyone. For the people I know, for my friends, for my enemies, for the people I hate, for the people I love, and for the one I..........