这个老抵了........hahahaha

今天在工作中突然想起来我还在这医院看过病呢............hahahahahahaha

太抵了,必须发上来纪念一下啊~hahahahahahaha

 

 

NBNB~ 太NB了~

 

 

 

 

图片虽然有点小,可以点大后下载到电脑里,然后放大look.图象挺清晰的...........hahahahaha

Still thinking too much.........maybe I should let life leads the way, and not decide on my own.

 

Don't wanna change anything...

What I wanted will not come easy, but with a price. Sometimes to think of it, I don't wanna pay. Sure everyone wants for free, but actually how many of these people do get the stuff for free?  None of them, no one~

 

To be logic enough, the things that people want will always being equal to the price they pay. "等价交换"的定律看来还是有理由可言的.

Maybe I'm a coward, always observe the situation from a far away distance. Never being really get involved, maybe I couldn't, maybe life won't let me, maybe I don't want to, maybe I don't know myself.

To think of myself, I get no answer out of myself. It seems that I don't know myself any more, and couldn't help myself either. Being helpless like an infant, but still crying out loud for what I really want.

 

The question is: what do I really want? Time will be needed to get the answer out. But I'm afraid that when I find the final answer, it'll be too late. Chances are, if i don't find the answer fast enough, something will change in the balanced equation. If so a new question will be generated, and more time will be needed to find new answers. A bad circulation will continue until to the day I die.

 

理智 v.s. 感性 

原则性的问题从来不能有差错, 但是有时候感觉到的事物又不太一样. 不再知道哪个是真的,哪个是假的. 也不再知道什么是对于错了.........

也许只有天知道, 管它什么乱七八糟的................

 

希望快点找出答案吧..............

 

恩.........今天很受教育啊............

 

说得没错,  除了生死人生中其它的都是小事.

我才发现自己变了......原来那个什么都不care,什么都不管,什么都不关心的我已经走远了................

该想的要想,不该想的烦着也没用.  总说着要对得起自己,要对自己好点...............总是忘记了

 

总这么提醒着也不是个办法.........也许从今天起就应该换换了吧.

 

心里现在豁然开朗啊................hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Maybe I'm a fool, being used as a tool.

Maybe this is life, piercing my heart like an knife.

Maybe I am too late, but not until this date.

Maybe this will end soon, like the morning falling moon. 

Maybe all the winds blow by, like all the time I couldn't buy.

Maybe this is I, struggle for life like a little fly.

金牛只有在深思熟虑之后才会作出决定。他只有在对一件事考虑成熟之后才愿意和别人讨论。然后他会谨慎行事，并很少改变自己的看法。

Been thinking too much lately, not only for the things around me, but things will happen in the future.......If and only if i can see the future, then everything will work out.

 

Maybe it's time to take a break, or maybe i should hit the break and stop thinking.

Do I still want to go on, or should I stop now.

 

Sometimes things are getting a little bit foggy, like an airplane flying in the clouds, and there's no radar.

I don't know if there's another one behind the clouds or I can fly through it without any danger.

 

Of course, cut corners is the easiest way to avoid sharp edge. But at the same time by saving the distance and time, I'm creating two other sharp corners. And then by cutting these two corners, four more will be created, and so on and so on.........if this keeps on going and going, eventually it will become a circle.

so things end up in a circle, running around and never comes to an end.

 

let me put an end to this endless circle and break it once for all.

 

Every time I look at myself, I find myself standing on the ground not moving. I lack the courage, I need strengthen my heart and become a real cold blood. Every time I want to make a move. I always start by thinking too much, but this is also a good point. It takes time...............

 

I don't know the answer, but I really wanna find out the answer. I tried too hard, and being too hard on myself..............Starting little by little to change the weight on my shoulders, and then maybe one day i'll be a free man.

 

Freedom won't come that easy, always accompanied by sacrifices. Rarely someone can get first prize for some kind of lottery. So be it, once again this is life, this is shit, this is whatever.

 

The dimension and time I live is different from everyone, and everyone has different dimension and time. So why bother to change it and to make myself better, why not keep the difference and keep the original status. I'm lost again...............struggling as hard as a little mouse in a mouse trap for not letting go of my last breath, and trying so hard to break through the trap. However, the trap is set by myself, and I'm the only one who can break it. No more time to waste, and count on urself, and believe in fate, destiny, freewill....................things will happen as they would, but if and only if I see the future. Things will happen but differently by prediction, and of course by intervention of a third party. Now it's getting real complicated...............and I wanna take a break. But just for now, I'll move on, and I'll believe in myself, and I will never give up~

有些原则性问题就是无法违背的.............

然而有时候一条线的差距就是很不一样,越过去就是天堂,等再从线那边回来就是地狱了.................你说你汗死不?

 

一念之差的过错也许会让人悔恨终生,一线的生机也会让人有无尽的美好幻想.

 

这一念之差就像poker一样,你不all in 永远不会知道对方是什么牌;就算瞎猜也没有用.

也就是有一线希望的时候才会奋不估身的去拼去赌. 往往all in以后的情况也就是说50%的机会会赢也会输.

就是这50%的机会..........断送了一切

 

因为只要一all in 期望就会越高,就会越大,像吹气球一样,越吹气球越大.如果吹太多了就会爆炸.

结果也就是失望越多罢了............life就是不公平,但是也同时是公平的. 有失必有得...............

 

我有时候也很想耍一次小孩脾气,什么什么都不管了,什么什么都要耍赖............可是也许这也是永远不可能的事.........

 

也许这就是属于原则和道德上的冲突,可什么有是道德呢?  问得好啊~ 说得妙啊~~   就像荣誉不能当饭吃一样,道德算个P啊?

也许自己也很月亮处女吧........太完美主义了

也就是值得不值得的问题了........................什么是值得的?什么有是不值得的?

 

太多的傻逼问题要去想了...........太TMD傻逼了~

 

知识是力量,知识也是恐怖的,知道得越多改变的也越多...........

 

 

也许真的什么都不知道也是一件幸福的事,傻人一样过得很好.  但是那只是已经知道的事情罢了,也许未来不一定也会好.

时间在变质..................人生在变质.....................就像一块面包放在那里10天以上一样,边成了绿色的或是黑色的.

 

 

Tenderness...............the book.......lol.......................

 

也许就应该把一线之间的距离看清楚.................干净利落么? 拖拖拉拉么? 不干不净么?

当某人在未来的某个时间出现在toronto的时候.............也许我该选择逃避...........也许我应该试着去逃避一些问题.................

也许应该试着第一次去逃避......................我能这么写就是因为某人看不到这篇BLOG..........lol

就算看见了也许也是好事,起码知道了一切...............明人不做暗事~坚持到底,绝不放弃.  push the limit within myself.~!!!

 

但是本能告诉自己要去勇敢面对,不论结果怎样,就像fold的牌一样,不会后悔自己fold了...............

 

 

也许这次要么all in,要么fold...............haha.........人生就是赌博~ 而筹码就是自己~

也许我应该写一下连载吧.............讲述一下什么是"极品"

想法尚未成熟,同志我仍需努力啊~

 

让我think think

Summer is hot, and maybe someone starts to having a run of bad luck.

and maybe i am someone.

 

Getting all my emote to show on the face to keep up that smile. Thinking all the bad ass stuff until the mind isn't working any more. Doing all the things that I am not doing while doing it. Don't know what the heck is going on.

 

Bullet holes, yes bullet holes all over my mind. Making the master-peice like swiss chess. A lot stuff has been leaked out. Not that I don't want to remember them, but they just keep on leaking and leaking and leaking.................All I remember now is on that day I have been shot. All I have left is the mind full of bullet holes. Couldn't remember any stuff, and couldn't recall either.

 

It feels like a peice of paper, and drifting away. I don't feel it any more. Couldn't find myself within myself, don't know what I want any more. And just then, everything falling into peices............................at least I know I have to get things right. Then get everything come together into one big picture.

 

Passion flows in my blood, feel it burning my heart, and my heart squeezed so hard I could even feel the pain in my mind. The words may have meaning, but when all the words come together, they are meaningless. Because everything is the past, from this minute, from this second. All I have been brag about is the past, should be in past tense, and never speak of it.

 

Now one thing comes to my mind, "So what? Nobody gives a shit about it~!"

then another, "Life is like whatever~ FUCK that~ Who cares?~!"

then another, "OMFG~! This is life~! Get fuking use to it~!"

then another, another, and another..............they keep coming back like steel attracted to a super big magnet. And these stuff now are filling in the holes in my mind.

 

Is it because they finally come back to their master who is the guy shuold regret them?

Is it because they afraid that they will be buried deep inside at a dark corner, and never to be said ever again?

Is it because they are really angry and willing to destroy their life of origin?

 

Crazy questions only could be asked by a crazy man~ If I keep going on like this, I'm afraid that I, me, myself, will go insane. Maybe that's the right thing to do. Once some kind of condition or state has been reached, a new thresh-hold must have formed in order to acheive its next level of insanity.

 

No wonder no one could understand a great philosopher's speech, and no one will care about it.

Just like no one could understand a crazy man's speech, and no one will really care about it, won't even to bother to ask.

 

so maybe I am a fool with everything I ever wanted.

so maybe I am a wise guy with nothing in my hand once so ever.